My husband and I just dropped off our 10-year-old son and 9-year-old daughter at a sleep-away camp in North Carolina, truly the best gift I could ever give them: independence, a month without screens, and the most fun summer of their lives. While I sound very optimistic, which I am, it also took me a while to get to this place of calm and reason.
I have compiled a list of how to get your child Sleep Away Camp Ready and how to help you with your short "empty nest" situation.
4 Ways to Prepare Your Camper to Sleep Away
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1. Stamp
First, ensure you have a durable, ink-based stamp with your child's name on it. They WILL lose their clothing and personal items. It's just a matter of time. So make sure you invest in a stamp you can use year after year. I purchased this personalized stamp that I keep in my "camp drawer" all year round.
Stamp everything you can. Stamp clothing, shoes, swimsuits, backpacks, cameras, and anything you can. For items you are unable to stamp, make sure you have that Sharpie handy to write out their names. Don't worry about ruining their items... their clothing and personal items won't last past a year or two anyway!
2. Pack the Packing List, but Know Your Child
Make sure you pack the list sent to you by your child's sleep-away camp -- those are the essentials. Also, know what your child might need to get through camp without you and to make them more comfortable. For example, my daughter gets warm at night and her cabin doesn't have air conditioning, so I purchased a battery-powered fan for her bunk. My son wanted a picture of him and his dog for his bunk, my daughter wanted her pinky bear, and I wanted to make sure they had books to read during quiet time so they weren't bored.
3. Have the "I'll Miss You" Conversation
You can have this conversation without any tears! Here's how.
Start it by being honest with your child about your feelings: "I'm really going to miss you, but I do know you are going to have the best summer of your life!"
Listen to their feelings. They might express pure joy and optimism.
They might share their fears and nerves with you too: "I'm scared Mommy, I know I'm going to miss you," they might say. Don't neglect their honest feeling, validate the feeling while embuing positivity: "I know darling, I am going to miss you too! I also know you are going to have fun, make new friends, learn new skills, and do whatever you want without Mom and Dad!"
However your child feels, it is important to have an open, honest conversation.
4. The Reason Discussion
I have found that it helps to talk to my children about why mom and dad are sending them to camp. We aren't sending them away, we are giving them an experience. We all chose sleep-away camp for a reason: independence, social growth, fun, etc. You can talk to your children and say "You know why mom and dad want you to go to camp? You are going to learn so many new skills, be able to do more things on your own, and have independent fun without having to ask Mom and Dad's permission!" I find it helps them feel ready to go knowing why sleep-away camp is the choice made.
Parent Readiness
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1. Empty Nest Syndrome
You may experience a pang of empty nesting, though for a short time... you will get your children back soon. It's important not to put any negative feelings of empty nesting on to your children via letters or emails. Let them be, let them enjoy camp without knowing your feelings about their absence. If you are feeling a sense of what do I do without the children here, it's time to focus on mom/dad.
2. Focus on You
It's your time Mama! (or Daddy!) Resume your regular schedule with a feeling of wow, when I get home from work I can relax and don't feel bad about it! You deserve to take this time for yourself. Be single again. Go on a date again with your husband, wife, partner, or friends. Your child is having fun, you should have fun too. It's important to take care of yourself during this time and not worry about your child. You chose the camp you chose for a reason, you trust them. Try to let go and enjoy your vacation too. Click here to complete your own Summer Bucket List sponsored by the New Orleans JCC and check out ongoing festivals in NOLA with our NOLA Festivals Guide sponsored by Crane Rehab Pediatrics and New Orleans Childrens Dental Center.
3. Camp Communication Blockade
I suggest trying not to communicate with the camp about your child unless communicated to. Your camper's staff is working very hard to make their experience golden. They are busy. We don't want to overwhelm them with questions about our child's experience. If there is a problem, they'll contact you. You don't want to be "that parent". You don't want to be an adversary, you want to be a partner to your camp staff. Help them help your child have the best experience they can. If you have information to share, do so in an email unless it must be done via a phone call.
